When Your Journey-Level Plumber Arrives, Tell Him/Her Not To Fall Into The Person-Hole

gender neutral baby animals

Attn: Policeme…er Members of Law Enforcement! When the journey-level plumber shows up, please warn him or her about the open person hole–if he or she falls in, oh the humanity…er person-ity!

That’s how conversations will be going in Washington state now that the legislature has fully enacted it’s “gender-neutral vocabulary” legislation.

The politically correct crusade on government language will see terms such as ‘fisherman’, ‘freshman’ and even ‘journeyman plumber’ replaced with ‘fisher’, ‘first-year-student’ and ‘journey-level plumber’.

A railroad signal MAN? Forget it. From now on it’s “signal operator.” ┬áPenmanship? How dare you! It’s “handwriting!”

And pronouns? Please– “him” and “her” are just another way of saying “hate.” It’s now “him and her” and “he and she” and “his and hers” and, well, any other way you can cram more annoyingly unnecessary words into public discourse.

gender neutral language

“‘This was a much larger effort than I had envisioned. Mankind means man AND woman,” said Democratic state Senator Jeanne Kohl-Welles of Seattle when the law was passed in April. “There’s no good reason for keeping words that…do not respect our current contemporary times,” she said.

So the manhole cover is not the utility hole cover and the Ombudsman is just the ombuds–which I thought was the name of a yoga-friendly beer.

You know what’s really the most surprising part of this story? That it’s not happening in Massachusetts. How can the geniuses of Beacon Hill NOT done this yet?

I know New Hampshire’s been too busy declaring the white potato the official state vegetable–no joke–but this seems like it’s right in Terry Murray’s wheelhouse.

Some people say this is linguistic stupidity in the service of social justice, but c’mon–when it comes to justice, can liberals be “too stupid?”

‘Words matter,” said Liz Watson, a National Women’s Law Center senior adviser. ‘This is important in changing”…..hey wait a minute. National Woman’s Center? MAN?

When it comes to political correctness, Liz, I think the message is “Just say Wo”


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Michael Graham
Radio talk show host, columnist for the Boston Herald, stand-up comic and former GOP political consultant. Learn more about Michael here.

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For several months now, whenever the topic of enrollment in the Affordable Care Act came up, I've been saying that it was too soon to tell its ultimate effects. We don't know how many people have paid for their new insurance policies, or how many of those who bought policies were previously uninsured. For that, I said, we will have to wait for Census Bureau data, which offer the best assessment of the insurance status of the whole population... I stand corrected: These data won't be available at all. Ever.-- Megan McArdle, Bloomberg View.