“Yes, You’re Fat—But It’s Not Your Fault!”

fat kid on sofa

Yeah, I’m fat—whaddaya want me to do about it?

Of course you’re fat. You’re an American, and according to the media, ALL Americans are fat.

Here’s what the government wants you to know about your fatness: It’s not your fault.

NEW YORK (Reuters) – America’s obesity epidemic is so deeply rooted that it will take dramatic and systemic measures – from overhauling farm policies and zoning laws to, possibly, introducing a soda tax – to fix it, the influential Institute of Medicine said on Tuesday.

In an ambitious 478-page report, the IOM refutes the idea that obesity is largely the result of a lack of willpower on the part of individuals. Instead, it embraces policy proposals that have met with stiff resistance from the food industry and lawmakers, arguing that multiple strategies will be needed to make the U.S. environment less "obesogenic."

…”The average person cannot maintain a healthy weight in this obesity-promoting environment.”

Of course it’s not your fault that you’re fat. It’s…the PRESIDENT’S fault!

A healthcare advocacy group run by physicians is preparing to file a petition calling on President Obama to stop eating hamburgers, hot dogs and other unhealthy foods before cameras.

"As role model to millions of Americans, the president has a responsibility to watch what he eats in public," said Susan Levin, nutrition education director with the Physicians Committee for Responsible Medicine (PCRM).

Yeah, that’s why you’re eating two boxes of Girl Scout cookies a day while you’re flopped in front of the TV watching Judge Judy—it’s because you see the president eating junk food. No wonder you’re obese.

Wait—did I call you “obese?” I’m so, so sorry…

Telling overweight patients they are obese could be seen as "derogatory", a health watchdog has warned.

Public health workers have been told that patients may respond better if they are encouraged to achieve a "healthier weight" rather than being labelled obese, under draft guidance issued by the National Institute for Health and Clinical Excellence (NICE).

So here’s the big-government, Nanny-State plan to fight obesity:

1—Stop anyone from calling you “obese.”

2—Stop eating junk food in front of you.

3—Tell you that your obesity is not your fault.

4—Spend lots of money telling you that carrots and apples are as good as french fries and candy.

What a great plan!  Why, we’ll have this “Fatso American” problem solved in no time!

Michael Graham
Radio talk show host, columnist for the Boston Herald, stand-up comic and former GOP political consultant. Learn more about Michael here.

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