There’s No Such Thing As A “Long Engagement.” There’s Only Guys Trying To Find A Way Out.

Here’s the headline from October, 2007:

Drew Carey Engaged to Cooking School Grad

Drew Carey has a new fiancée: Nicole Jaracz, a recent graduate of culinary school, the comedian's rep has announced.

"It will be the first marriage for both. No date for a wedding has been set yet," said the statement from publicist Christina Papadopoulos. "They are both very happy and excited about their future together."

The proposal took place Oct. 9, the rep added.

When I tell you that, as of this week, they were still “engaged,” what do you know for an absolute fact?  That they are never getting married, of course.

From today’s paper:

Drew Carey & Fiancée Nicole Jaracz Call Off Engagement

It's over for Drew Carey and his longtime fiancée.

The Price Is Right host and Nicole Jaracz have ended their nearly five-year relationship. "He and Nicole still have a great deal of love and affection for one another," Carey's rep tells PEOPLE in a statement. "He will still be very involved with their son's life."

I’m not saying they should have gotten married or that anyone did anything wrong. I’m simply pointing out (ladies) that if you’re still single 18 months—2 years, max—after he gives you the ring, he’s trying to tell you something.

There are exceptions (say if he’s serving abroad in the military, for example), but they are few and far between.

There are no “long engagements.” There are just “guys trying to find a way out.”